Friday, April 28, 2006

THE REAL SIGNS OF AGEING


TV these days seems to be filled with cosmetic adverts, with fantastic looking women telling you how they are fighting the signs of ageing by simply applying this cream or that cream, then their 'husband' who happens to be a hunk of a man in his mid twenties walks by and couldn’t agree more.

Which got me to thinking..what are the signs of ageing, is the odd grey hair…or the defined wrinkle or two..or is it even the sporadic noises you start to make when bending down or getting up quickly from a chair…maybe its all of these..or simply a combination. But then it hit me…the real sign of ageing of anyone in the late twenties/thirties is drink related or more particularly the length and breath of hangovers we begin to suffer.

Now..I wasn’t the biggest drinker in ruiniversity but I was solid…the odd all day bender after a history tut at 10am was often followed up with a night of feverish devilment in Docs or Charlie Chaplains……saunter off home at 4.30am…curry chip in hand..maybe have a snack (crisps& chocolate biscuit sandwich)..watch the box for an hour..then finally hit the hay at about 5.30/6am….up at around 10ish..not a bother on me maybe even go for a run!!...

These days that sort of behavior would more than likely require at least a day on the couch..desperatly trying to recuperate in time to make work on a Monday…im not quite sure when this kind of torture kicked in rather its been a quite build up catching me off guard. Nobody warns you about it..is just happens…one day you wake up and going on the beer really means going on the beer..no shots…no whiskey…no vodka and red bull…oh you fall off the wagon of course..every now and then usually when you are surrounded with people younger than you, you are deceived into thinking that Frank the Tank is back and you can drink petrol out of a welly…but its not reality, the reality is that you cant drink for about two weeks after as a result. There is no cream to help with this…..that wrecked face staring back at you in the mirror is all your own doing…its your body saying hang on a minute mate……your not as young as you used to be..and if you drink any more of that purple stuff you will end up like your great gran uncle Frank by the time your 30!!!

Theses days…a good night out…is having a few beers and laughing at those who continue the proud Irish tradition of binge drinking…as you settle into your third pint..you chuckle quietly..how hungover is the muppet going to be tomorrow…ah the youth of today!!!.....

3 comments:

Hotspur said...

The real sign of, ageing for me at least, is when you cant find a woman in school uniform attractive without being called a pervert,a dirty c**t, a sexual deviant no better than the dogs in the street. A perpetual wanker that masturbates himself raw. A man who looks for nothing but a hole and a heart-beat. Thanks lads, i can feel the love.....

Rambo must die said...

Hangovers...hmm...Smuigin is right..shots..cocktails become forbidden fruit..consumption results in wreckless 'dancing', eating half a chip shop and waking up with mouth like the Gobi desert..but think on...Smuigin..is a feed of Guinness really the answer..it gets slighly toxic round 11am the next day!!!

Hotspur said...

Never mind having a mouth like the Gobi desert after a night out. The real sign of ageing is when your with a bird with a pu**y like the Gobi desert.