Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Political Points!!

With the introduction of the new raft of penalty points infringements for Irish Drivers, a thought struck me as to the relevance of a point system for all aspects of life. To be fair, the penalty points systems has been a relative success on Irish roads, as the average driver is now less inclined to 'tear along the dotted line' for fear of amassing the dreaded dozen and consequently suffering the humiliation of loss of licence. So where better to apply this penalty point system then to the source of much of Irelands embarrassment, grief and ridicule…the politicians! Below I have detailed the offences that I feel would help straighten our elected representatives out..imagine….12 points and no more Jackie Healy Rae!....no more Michael Lowry…no more Bertie!...

If you would like to add any more political points offences..just click on the pen below..

One Point

Failure to attend a funeral without making a speech
Failure to dispose of 80's jacket and tie combo
Failure to directly answer questions from the media

Two Points
Failure to referring to members of the ICA as 'Good girls'
Failure to notice your holding a gun when photographer snaps happily away
Failure to notice your driving on the wrong side of the road at 2.30am

Three Points
Failure to thank people without borderline racist comments
Failure to notice illegal planning developments inside dedicated constituency
Failure to attend GAA AGMS..except in 'Official capacity'

Five Points
Failure to notice expenses add up until it was to late (honest)!
Failure to pay builder during extension work to home
Failure to inquire regarding request from Saudi Arabia for 10-15 Irish passports

Ten Points
Failure to discard comb-over!
Failure to know when your beaten. Running as an independent isn't always the best option!
Failure to know Liam Lawlor (RIP)

Twelve Points

Failure to admit that 'companion' was on all expenses paid trip to the Far East for personal reasons.

Life Time Ban
Failure to run the country despite experiencing unprecedented- economic boom!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

This man rules.

If you wanted proof of the meaningless of "Europe" as a true political entity, it has been provided by the supine and cowardly response of the EU to the outrageous treatment of Denmark by the Islamic world, writes Kevin Myers.

The withdrawal of the Saudi ambassador from Copenhagen was a matter between the two governments - but once the Saudi government refused to allow the Danish delegation to attend the Jeddah Economic Forum, an international gathering of many nations, then it was no longer a matter between the two governments. It was a matter for the broader political union to which Denmark belongs; and then it came down to the Dumas question. Was it: Tous pour un, un pour tous? Or was it: Sauve qui peut? Now we know: it was SQP. So the various member countries of the EU stampeded into the Jeddah Forum, leaving poor little Denmark to fret alone, seeing its worldwide markets vanish as proof of the price to be paid for freedom of speech. Meanwhile, our President - who should have been withdrawn from the conference once the Saudis started discriminating against fellow EU members - reassured the Saudis that the Irish people abhorred the publication of the cartoons of Muhammad.

Having said how proud she was that Irish Muslims had expressed their "righteous anger" over the cartoons in a peaceful manner, she went on: "What we do not take pride in is the use of violence." What? Is this the same President who has been contending that we should all take pride in the wholly unmandated violence of 1916, and who called its instigators heroes? Please, I beg of her: call in the Muslim leaders of Ireland and explain why it was perfectly all right for hundreds of Irish people to be slaughtered in their own streets in the name of an abstraction called a united Irish Republic, but not all right for Muslims to resort to violence in protest at the abstract cartoon-insult done to their Prophet.

For in terms of moral gravity, I should have thought that the insult to the Prophet was of far graver moment than anything that had happened to the men who planned the 1916 Rising. They had not been provoked or insulted; they were even allowed to march, bearing arms, around Dublin, every Sunday, week after week. The Dublin Metropolitian Police were specifically ordered not to interfere with them, or disarm them, or raid their premises without specific authorisation from Dublin Castle, even if they thought a crime was under way.

This moderation did not prevent these heroes launching their jihad that Easter Monday. So what is the moral difference between letting bombs off in the London underground, or the Madrid Metro, and starting a civil war in the crowded streets of Dublin, in which hundreds of innocent civilians were bound to be killed? As Pearse said: "We might kill the wrong people in the beginning." No "might" about it, matey. In terms of unprovoked terrorist body-counts, the toll for the Easter Rising - still uncertain, but probably at least 500 - is almost in a class of its own, perhaps second only to 9/11.

This Republic's willingness to applaud the men responsible - even honouring their enthusiasm for martyrdom - and to forget their hundreds of victims (as the President so memorably did in her UCC address) hardly puts us in a very different moral position from al-Qaeda. As it happens, the Muslims of Ireland today outnumber the Irish Volunteers of 1916, and vastly outnumber the membership of the Irish Republican Brotherhood. So what is the ethical difference between Irish Muslims having an anti-Danish intifada and Irish republicans having an insurrection? What is it, Madam President? What is it, Taoiseach?

Matching this underlying moral hypocrisy has been the proof of the bogusness of the entire EU project. We couldn't stand by our Danish friends when they needed us; but by God, we stuck by our national myths. No wonder Islamicists around the world think the West is doomed. We are pathetic, conceited, cowardly, mean-spirited, ungenerous, supine, unprincipled and smug. The Danes can go to hell just so long as we are free to indulge our own tribalistic fundamentalism, meanwhile pretending we have so much in common with dear old Saudi Arabia, the intellectual and financial inspiration for much of the Islamic terrorism around the world for the past 15 years.

This newspaper carried the following headline last Monday: "Muslim anger justified, say Danes." Not true. Per Bech Thomsen in Copenhagen actually reported that 56 per cent of Danes understood why Muslims were angry. Most of us - but apparently not all - recognise the difference between "understand" and "justify": actually, fewer than 50 per cent of Danes thought it was wrong for the cartoons to have been published. Nonetheless, the appearance has been created, once again, that the West is sympathetic to the worldwide Islamic anger.

An endless Western liberal desire to reach out, to embrace one's still-armed, implacable enemy is perhaps our most fatal flaw. Now, disgracefully, when Danes desperately needed the hand of friendship, we instead empathised with Saudi Arabia, a vile country which is infinitely worse than Ireland of 1916: it kept women participants at the Jeddah forum behind screens, it does not allow women to drive, does not permit Jews to even enter its borders, and its television stations daily feast on banquets of truly obscene anti-Semitism. Perhaps our President would endorse a rising there.

And in the meantime, if we're cute, we might grab the Danes' dairy market share throughout the Islamic world. Up the Republic (SQP)!

Anonymous said...

Political Points for promotion.

15 points - being a TD in a marginal constituency
12 points - being huffy
10 points - being a female
7 points - track record at not managing votes in your constituency
1 point - competence
0 point - charisma

Anonymous said...

How about a points sysytem for overbearing, ignorant, sensationalist journalists........???

Anonymous said...

Delighted to see some commentary on the explosion of Muslim anger against the Danes.

The Islamic protesters who have threatened violence against Europe (especially Denmark) continue to perpetuate the negative sterotype imposed on all Muslims. Their blind hatred and bigotry combined with their religous extremeties only serve to preserve the malovelent image of muslims which prevails amongst society.
Furthermore, their hypocrisy is all the more evident when we acknowledge that muslims have been all too willing to publically insult and persecute Christians and Jews alike. Today, a representative of the German CDP (Christian Democrat Party), when addressing the European Parliament, held in his hands numerous satirical insults created by Islamic newspapers aimed at Christians and Jews. When these were published we didnt bat an eye lid. Why? Because understanding and tolerance are attributes inherently part of our European culture.The freedom of speech is a fundamental aspect of European life and is a right upon which our society is founded.However, our tolerance cannot be extended to threats against our safety. The security of the E.U and its citizens is of paramount importance. Thus I am of the opinion that those who relay their messages of hate and destruction should have their fundamental rights suspended.As such I welcome the decision of the English courts to imprison a Muslim cleric who incited religous and racial violence with his nonsensical rhetoric of jihad.Theres no harm in poking fun at one another, or insulting each other, no one gets hurt, but when that line is crossed and the right to free speech is abused to promote violence than people deserve to be punished. Islam should take a long look in the mirror before it decides to voice its hatred again.

Anonymous said...

hey hotspur lighten up all they did was knock a few buildings down , send a few nasty video messages ,and make sweet sweet music (come on you know that music on every yank film that tries to show some muslim culture).....bob dylan eat your heart out ( or mayby thats cut your head off.....hmmm)

An Smuigin said...

Hey..Hotspur & Special One....interesting thoughts...See Fisk, 'Great War of Civilisation' for better understanding of history behind current situation. Also interested on your thoughts on the Haughey Jr situation!

Anonymous said...

Hey.. I will not lighten up! Ive a perpetual chip on my shoulder and have developed a subtle dislike of Islam ever since the arrival of Mido (and we are supposed to be jewish!)Which is a greater crime? Insulting an entire religion through the publication of a cartoon or insulting the sport of soccer through the creation of the egotistic egyptian! If we fail to qualify for the Champions League, I will demonstrate in London, protest in Gaza, march in Basra, and threaten Jihad( well whatever the Christian equivalent is ) on the nation of Islam for allowing Mido to leave Eqypt. And you thought 9/11 was their most heinous crime.

Anonymous said...

Excellent stuff John. Maybe the results could be totted up at election time to generate Morality Points for this electoral system : http://ards.csn.ul.ie/issue4/politics.html

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